


Not How This Was Meant To Go

by madamewriterofwrongs



Series: Show and Tell [1]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Car Accident, Love Confession, M/M, Misunderstandings, Soft Eddie Diaz, Soft evan buckley, angst drama with an ending, chimney deserves all the love, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:22:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24314989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madamewriterofwrongs/pseuds/madamewriterofwrongs
Summary: "He stepped out onto the street and the next thing he saw was the sky."Eddie gets into an accident while on call and he and Buck make a couple of confessions. And one decision.And Chimney is a really good friend.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Evan “Buck” Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: Show and Tell [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1766488
Comments: 18
Kudos: 362





	Not How This Was Meant To Go

**Author's Note:**

> As it says in the title, this is not what I expected to write when I sat down but it's what came out so here we are. It's a little dramatic but I hope it has a satisfying ending for you. That is always my goal: content and satisfied.
> 
> Enjoy!

It was a routine call. No natural disasters. No freak accidents. Just a four-car fender bender that had stretched across a section of a main residential area. One woman had been trapped in her car but they pulled her free with some superficial cuts and bruising. Another man had hit his head when his airbag deployed and was coming in and out of consciousness. Beyond that there were a few minor injuries and some frightened bystanders. It took all of twenty minutes to help the seriously wounded and get them loaded onto the available ambulance.

Hen slipped into the back of the bus to accompany them to the hospital but her partner offered to stay behind to help the ones who didn’t need a visit to the hospital but would might require some tending to. The rest of the team stayed behind as well. While police tried to keep gawkers off the street, the firefighters of the 118 offered water and bandages, while trying to move the cars to the side of the road so normal day-time traffic could resume.

Buck and Eddie were doing a lot of the heavy lifting – obviously. Not to show off, but they were strong enough to move most of the vehicles over without much assistance. So they got to get a little sweaty and show off their muscles. It was better than going to the gym. Eddie wiped his brow with the back of his forearm, gloved hands covered in rust and dirt, and smiled at his partner. They had done their job, everyone was safe. It was time to head back to the station. He turned around as he walked across the street to the truck, opening his mouth to say…something.

He stepped out onto the street and the next thing he saw was the sky.

Buck was walking behind him and stopped in time to see the car come shooting through but Eddie hadn’t. And now Eddie was crumpling to the ground, the force of the impact landing his body a few feet away. He wasn’t moving.

Everything happened so quickly. The shouts of Bobby and others trying to keep people off the street and stop the car were background noise to the pounding in his ears. There was only a moment of hesitation, where the world stopped and reality sank in, and then Buck was running to his partner’s side.

“Eddie. Eddie!”

Suddenly Chimney was there, too, kneeling beside a dazed and barely breathing Eddie.

“Buck, roll him over gently. Check his pulse.” He did as he was told, pulling his gloves off to reach for a pulse point. Eyes still glued to the man under him, he searched his face for signs of awareness but Eddie’s eyes were. They were rolling around, unable to focus on anything. But from this close, Buck could see that he was breathing, could feel his pulse – weak as it was – under his fingers. He heard Chimney click on his radio as he worked with clinical precision. Trying to keep Eddie alive.

“This is RA 118 requesting additional RA unit to my location. We have an injured team member in need of immediate medical assistance.”

“What…what’s” Buck caught Eddie’s head in his hands to stop him from moving too much. The relief that hit his chest left an ache that refused to relinquish. Not until he knew Eddie was safe.

“You were hit by a car.” He tried to keep his voice steady but he was failing desperately.

“Oh good. I thought I was dying.” Eddie must have seen the horrified pain in his eyes because he squeezed his hand. “I’m kidding, Buck.” He hadn’t realized he was holding his hand.

“You are gonna be fine.” Buck wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince with his words but it didn’t help either of them.

Instead, Eddie tried to straighten his neck but let out a groan of pain. So, he stopped trying to move. But his eyes were still searching for something, assessing. “I can feel my toes so I don’t think there’s any spinal damage but I need a c collar so there’s no risk of further injury.”

“You heard the man.” Even as Chimney said it, he was placing the plastic brace around his neck.

Eddie continued his analysis while Buck just squeezed his hand. He didn’t know how to help so he just kept squeezing. “My left leg is definitely broken.” At that, the man looked over at Buck and smiled – though the grimace of pain was evident. “We’ll match.”

“Stop being a medic.” Buck ordered but Eddie just chuckled in response. Or his chest jerked up as if a laugh were resting there but there was no sound.

“Hard to turn it off.” It unsettled him. How calm Eddie seemed to be about this. About lying on the asphalt- he would be fine.

“We’re gonna get you outta here in no time.” For the first time, Buck looked up at Chimney who was currently trying to bandage a cut on Eddie’s other, supposedly unbroken, leg. “ETA on transport?”

The paramedic pursed his lips and shook his head apologetically. “Dispatch says they’re on their way but it’ll be another couple of minutes.”

“He might not have minutes.” He hissed. Before he could fully process that thought and the pain that shot through his body, Eddie groaned and all of his focus was back on him.

“My head.”

“What?”

“Check the back of my head. Is it bleeding?”

Buck placed his free hand under his partners head and saw stars when he had to give his answer. “Y-yes.”

“Could be a minor cranial fracture. I probably have a concussion. They’ll check it during surgery”

“Stop it.” Buck held Eddie’s hand in both of his, ignoring the smear of blood he marked on the man’s skin. “You’re gonna be okay.” He looked up at Chimney, desperation so clearly racking through his body. “Where’s the ambulance?”

“It’s coming.” His friend assured him.

Eddie squeezed his hand to grab his attention. “Hey. I’m gonna be fine, Buck. It’s all gonna be fine.” He swallowed and it seemed to take him a life time to find words again. “Christopher is not gonna lose both his parents like this.” Buck couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. Couldn’t hear. He couldn’t feel anything but that hand in his.

“That’s right.” It had to be. But even as he said it, trying to will that thought into being, his partner’s eyes fell closed. “Eddie?” Careful not to shake him but desperate to keep him awake, Buck held his hand tighter and leaned over his face; hoping if he shouted loud enough, he could reach his unconscious mind. “Eddie!”

It worked. Or more likely, Eddie had come to on his own, the pain keeping him from fully succumbing to the rest his body desperately needed. But when he opened his eyes again, there was uncertainty. Fear. “I was scared.” Eddie confessed, quietly.

“What?”

“That’s why I left. I was scared.”

Oh. That. The thing they weren’t talking about. The thing that hurt more than he’d let on. “What’s there to be scared of?” Buck pulled his hand to his heart, projecting his beating heart into Eddie’s steadily declining one. They were both fighting to stay grounded. “Eddie, you gotta stay awake. Talk to me. What are you scared of?”

“You.” For the second time in as many minutes, his whole world stopped, focusing in on just them. No more chatter of bystanders, no more shouts from Bobby, nothing. “You’re my partner, my best friend. And my kid loves you to pieces. What we have is really good. Taking that next step; it’s-it’s a lot.”

Buck just held tighter. “Hey, nothing’s gonna change. We’re gonna be just like we always were but…with a little bit more on the end.”

Eddie’s smile, as weak as it was, felt like the first ray of sunshine. “Does that mean I can have a second date?”

Someone’s movement stopped and Buck looked up to see Chimney frozen. He’d forgotten. Forgotten where they were and who was around and for a moment, he feared those consequences. But none of that mattered if Eddie didn’t get up off the ground. So he turned away from the questioning glance of his friend and kept his eyes on his partner. “You stay awake and you can have as many dates as you want.”

“Okay.” Eddie breathed deep and Buck had never been so grateful to hear such a labored sound. He was fighting. “Someone has to call Carla. Let her know I’ll be late. Check on Christopher”

“I’ll take care of it.” He promised. Of course. He ignored the small voice in the back of his mind that whispered _how are you going to tell Christopher that you failed him again?_ He wouldn’t think about it. While his mind was turning with fears of the unknown, Eddie’s eyes were rolling again. “Eddie, you gotta stay awake.” He had to keep him awake. Keep him talking. Keep him here. It might have been the stupidest idea he’d ever thought of but it was an idea. “Oh, tell me about our second date. Where are you gonna take me?”

Eddie seemed to calm just a little. He croaked out “Home.” Which only made Buck’s laugh turn into a sob.

“Hey, I’m not that kinda guy anymore. You gotta take me to dinner first. Wine and dine me a little.” Keep him awake. Keep him focused. Give him something to focus on. “Come on, where are we going?”

There was a moment of silence and in that silence, Buck couldn’t breathe because if Eddie stopped…

“Hawaiian.”

He smiled at that. “Hawaiian? I like it. Casual but still different from our ordinary places. Good choice.”

“We’ll have to keep you away from any open flames.”

“Very true. I am slightly disaster-prone, especially on dates.”

“Just on dates?” Eddie’s laughter turned into a groan of pain and Buck’s mind flooded with panic. Just keep him talking. Keep him distracted. Keep him awake. The mantra continued in his racing mind.

“So, you took me to dinner. It went well. No one caught fire. Now where?”

The moment was shorter this time. He was still fighting. “Video games.”

“See I’m not ready to go home just yet. I want to wander around a bit.”

“Arcade at the movie theatre?” Eddie offered. His smile was easier now; no less pained or small but it didn’t feel false. It was working.

“Arcade. Now you’re getting it. We’ll play some games. Maybe you slip in behind me to show me how to handle the controls.”

“Pervert.”

He feigned offense but his heart was doing somersaults. There was still that voice but now it was whispering _how long can you keep this up?_ “Hey, you picked arcade. I’m just telling you the rules of flirting there.” He pressed on. He would keep it up as long as it took. “Why the one at the movie theatre? Is that what we’re doing next? We’ll catch a late movie?”

“We can make out in the back of the theatre.”

“Now who’s the pervert?” It came so easy. This half flirty, half friendly back and forth. It was so easy and it could be gone so quickly and Buck. Buck wasn’t sure when he’d started crying but his eyes were blurry with unshed tears.

“Transports here.” Chimney placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder to bring him back but also to push him away. He’d have to let got of Eddie’s hand if others were going to save him. His muscles ached at the task, so tense that there was no feeling of relief in its release; only the loss of connection.

“See? Just fine.” Eddie was the one reassuring him. Eddie, who was being lifted onto a backboard and carried into the back of an ambulance. Eddie, who hadn’t taken his eyes off of Buck even as he was being taken away.

Buck nodded, stealing his posture as he followed behind the gurney. “We’ll finish this later, okay?” It was a promise. To both of them. He prayed it wasn’t an empty one.

With the patient securely in the back of the bus, Buck hesitated. What did he do now? A familiar hand touched his shoulder but he didn’t look at Chimney. “Do you want to ride with him?”

The thought had only passed through his mind. He wanted to go with him. Hold his hand and whisper assurances and be there every step of the way to make sure he was safe. But if he held his hand now, Buck was afraid he wouldn’t be able to let go. And he had to let go. He couldn’t be in the way of the people who would save Eddie. “I’ll ride in the truck.”

* * *

The ride back to the station was the longest ride of Buck’s life. Everything had happened so fast; he had been so panicked. And then suddenly everything was still and he was sitting in the back of the firetruck. Like he’d been running a marathon and suddenly stopped and sat down. The world was catching up with him and it made his head spin. Buck didn’t speak or look at anyone and if others noticed, his mind was too far away to care – though somewhere in there was the realization that Chimney never sat beside him. But he was there now. Just sitting next to him.

And then he was at the hospital. It was a few hours later. He didn’t remember Bobby letting him off work, he didn’t remember driving here – or maybe someone had driven him (that was probably safer) – but here he was, sitting in the waiting room. Again.

When he envisioned his life, Buck never imagined becoming friendly with emergency room nurses who recognized his face when he walked in. He absently wondered if there was some kind of rewards punch card he could get. A free IV drip for every ten agonizing visits.

His mind was floating; his head in his hands to stop the worry on his face from pouring out. He knew some of the others were there, too. Knew that others were waiting and worried for their friend. Buck didn’t sit with them. He couldn’t. They would ask how he was; ask why he his face was so red. Ask questions he wasn’t sure he could answer.

Not until he knew Eddie was safe.

Chimney sat beside him and replaced the coffee cup with his worried mind. He didn’t sip it but the warmth from the cheap Styrofoam was nice. It was pleasant and a kind gesture but he knew it would taste like ash in his mouth. So, he just held it and stared at it and tried to let his worry seep into the coffee instead.

The two of them shared a silence for a few minutes, neither looking at each other but aware of the other’s presence. When Chimney broke the silence, it was a deep, low tone for only the two of them to hear. “So, do you want to talk about what happened back there?”

Buck only shrugged, swallowing down the confession he wanted to make but just couldn’t. “Random traffic accident. He’s, uh, lucky you were there. You’re so cool under pressure.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Of course it wasn’t. He was asking why his two friends were talking about dating and running away, and why Buck hadn’t been able to function since Eddie had hit the ground. But he wouldn’t push. He would prod a little but if Buck really didn’t want to talk about it… “Look, you don’t have to”

“We kissed.” The confession was so quiet, he’d barely heard it himself. But Chimney had heard it. He knew because he stopped moving and stared at him, the way he had on the road. But he didn’t ask any questions – bless his friend for knowing this was not the time for the teasing that would inevitably come. He just waited and listened to the words spill out of Buck.

“Remember the call a few weeks back? A housefire that was getting out of control. The roof collapsed while I was getting the mom out? I was digging my way out and there was Eddie and Logan digging towards me. We met in the middle and we all got out safe.” Buck was studying his coffee like it held the secrets of the universe; like he really could just pour all his troubles into that cup and he wouldn’t feel so heavy.

“We went back to my place to drink and celebrate not dying. We were both still so happy and high on adrenaline and it just happened.” It ‘just happened’ the way an asteroid hit the earth and created the moon. Unpredictable but inevitable. They’d sat on the couch chatting their way through Top Gun because ‘seriously, Buck? How have you, of all people, not seen this movie?’. They’d been sitting close and talking and then…one of them leaned in. He still wasn’t sure and, in that moment, it didn’t really matter because their lips were pressed together. And then they weren’t.

“And he walked out on you?” There wasn’t any judgement in Chimney’s voice, or he hid it very well.

“He actually stayed. We talked. We kissed a little more.” His cheeks reddened at the memory of exploring and learning and _really_ liking what he found. “We even set up a date night to see if it was something we wanted. We stayed in, we ordered dinner.” His heart caught in his throat but he tried to shrug it off. “And halfway through he just walks out on me. He wouldn’t answer my calls or my texts. He seemed fine at work, he acted like we were friends, but he wouldn’t.” Buck didn’t realize how angry he was until he said it out loud. And he was angry. Angry at that driver; angry at the ambulance; angry at Eddie. “He wouldn’t talk to me.”

“He’s talking to you now.”

“Yeah, as he’s dying on the side of the road to tell me he’s scared of me?”

Chimney’s chest curled in like he wanted to say more. Like he wanted to be loud and voice his opinion and Buck prepared for a lecture. But instead, he got a hand on his shoulder – a sadly familiar comfort. “He’ll be fine, it’s minor surgery. And he didn’t say he was scared of you.” Buck looked at him for the first time, one eyebrow raised. “Alright he did say that. But he didn’t mean it that way.”

“I know, it’s just…” Buck struggled to find the words even though he knew what they were. He knew what he wanted but he just couldn’t get there. He turned his gaze out to the waiting room, a heavy sigh on his lips. He could do this. He could, couldn’t he? When he spoke again, it was a plea to both Chimney and the universe.

“How do I tell him that I’m scared, too, but I want to try anyway?”

The universe didn’t answer. But his friend did. “Maybe… maybe you don’t tell him. Maybe you find a way to show him.”

Their conversation was interrupted by the appearance of more family members: crewmen who were finally off shift and Eddie’s abuela who joined her daughter sitting near the main doors, muttering a prayer to herself. What would he tell them if they asked about Eddie? What would he tell his own family? He wasn’t ready for that yet. He looked back at his friend who was waiting patiently for him. “Hey, um, could you not tell Maddie? Or the others. I’m gonna. Just…not right now.”

Chimney gave a small smile and nodded like it wasn’t even a question. “I got your back.”

His words carried a weight Buck didn’t think Chimney realized, but it did give him a sense of comfort to know he had someone to talk to – finally. He returned the tired smile. “Thanks, Chim. For everything.”

And then they were quiet again and Buck returned to gazing into the universe and hoping for answers in a cup. He could feel Chimney’s eyes drift away from him, over to where the others were sitting together, comforting each other. It was too many people. Too much for Buck. If he sat there too long, he didn’t know what could pour out of him. “You know,” Chimney began, his tone still gentle. “You don’t have to carry this alone. You can share the worry.” He nodded out to their friends even though Buck wasn’t really watching him. “Even if they don’t know everything, we’re all here for you.”

Buck gave him a tight smile of acknowledgement but he didn’t know what to say. He was overstimulated just sitting there, his mind still kneeling on the asphalt and clutching Eddie’s hand like a lifeline. That damn voice in his head, though. _You weren’t dating. You weren’t a couple. He walked away from you. Why are so upset about this?_

Another person he cared about lying in another hospital bed while Buck sat alone feeling helpless.

Except then, he’d had something to keep him busy – namely rescuing his sister from her abusive ex-husband. Now, he had a hand on his shoulder and coffee that was starting to lose its warmth. And he didn’t know what to do except worry. Worry about his friend; worry if he would be alright, worry if the surgery would be successful, worry if he’d regret the things he said, worry if this feeling in his chest would be too much to carry and still be friends after this.

For whatever they were or weren’t or could be or never were, Buck was worried about Eddie.

And now there was nothing left but waiting.

* * *

The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and Buck was sitting at Eddie’s bedside. He hadn’t been there all night, not for lack of trying. When they received the news that Eddie was okay and would be resting through the night, Buck felt the weight sitting on his chest lift just a bit for the first time all day. It wasn’t completely gone – there were still worries to be had – but for now, Eddie was okay.

He went in to see him after his family left. They had said a prayer over his sleeping form and made Buck promise that he wouldn’t stay all night. He had nodded and let Isabel kiss his check but he had every intention of staying. Christopher came after school and stayed well past his bedtime before Carla finally dragged him home. Through the night and into the morning, others came and went. The ones with children went to tuck them in or drive them to school, others had work or other obligations. Buck just sat there, waiting for Eddie to wake up.

It was hard to look at him for too long. His head was lightly wrapped in gauze (Eddie was right, of course, he’d literally cracked his skull open), and his leg was in a cast. He had some cuts and bruises on the legs and arms that weren’t wrapped but he was breathing normally; peacefully sleeping off the combination of anesthesia and pain medication. And for that, Buck could relax a little. He could watch the steady rise and fall of his chest and try to replace it with the memory of Eddie lying on the road, barely moving. He tucked away the flair of panic when he remembered those words. _Christopher is not gonna lose both his parents like this_. He remembered another car accident, what felt like a lifetime ago, and had to look at the monitor above his head to check that Eddie was alive.

Around midnight, Maddie came to pick him up and forced him to go home and sleep. Literally forced him; she had tugged on his collar – at first gently and then with the force only a big sister had – and followed him out of the room and into her car so he couldn’t even look back.

He slept for fifteen minutes at a time. Always the image of the car and Eddie and the promise he didn’t want to break. And then he would startle awake and grab a drink of water or splash water on his face or just pace the length of his room until he forced himself to lay down. Another fifteen minutes, another car, another Eddie, another promise.

So, his mind was still clearly caught on that moment – that fear. And knowing that it turned out okay was not helping. Buck was not incredibly adept at understanding his feelings right away but this, this dull ache in his chest, it was serious. It meant something. Maybe it was the thought of losing his best friend, maybe it was the loss of something he’d barely had but wanted more of. Maybe it was love. All he knew was that he cared a hell of a lot about Eddie, and Buck had a decision to make about what he would do when he woke up.

After six hours of tossing and thinking and giving up on sleep, he called a rideshare and was back at Eddie’s side. He didn’t touch him – he barely looked at him except to make sure he was still breathing – but he was there by his side when a short time later, he finally opened his eyes and let out a groan.

Buck’s soft smile reached his eyes for the first time in days. “Good morning.”

Eddie just squinted, still adjusting to the bright lights and constant noise. “Is it?”

“How do you feel?”

“Like I got hit by a car.” If he weren’t so relieved to see him awake, Buck would have knocked him senseless for smirking like that just hours after nearly dying. Instead, he just frowned. Eddie tried to lift his head and look around but didn’t really succeed. “Where’s Christopher?”

“Carla’s dropping him off at school and he’s worried sick about you.” Right. He needed to tell everyone that Eddie was awake. Needed to text his family and tell Carla and tell the team. But for just a moment, he wanted to be alone with him. Wanted to look in Eddie’s eyes and make sure that he was okay. He _wanted_ to ask if he remembered their conversation. If he’d meant what he said. If he had the same ache in his chest. But he didn’t. He just pulled out his phone and began to text his various contacts, sending out the same message: _He’s okay._

“I don’t know that I want him to see me like this.” Eddie began to protest but Buck just stood from his chair, the nervous energy keeping him moving now that Eddie was awake.

“He’ll want to at least know that you’re okay. We’re all glad you’re okay.” He babbled a little as he texted but Eddie didn’t seem to stop him. “Everyone’s been coming in and out of the waiting room all night and this morning. Taking shifts. Bringing coffee. A little family reunion. I think Karen and Denny are here – Hen’s at work but she sends her love – and your aunt was in the chapel last time I saw her.” He was already heading out the door. “They’ll want to know you’re okay.”

“Did you mean it?”

Buck stood frozen in the doorway, afraid to move. What was he talking about? _Please let it be what he’s thinking about_. He needed Eddie to say it. He couldn’t guess or it might break his heart. It still might. “Did I mean what?”

“You know…” When Eddie trailed off, Buck’s head snapped to him. _Say it. Say something._ And he did; very quietly, almost shy but definitely not looking Buck in the eyes. “You said if I stayed awake until the ambulance showed up, I could have as many dates as I wanted.”

He did remember. Later, he would wonder about the implications of someone remembering aspects of a traumatic accident, but right now, he was focused keeping his face in control. He gripped his phone to keep him steady. “I just needed you to stay awake.” He shrugged it off. It wasn’t a lie but it also…was.

“You didn’t ride with me.” He remembered that too. Great.

“Chimney offered to bend the rules but I” He swallowed the weight pressing into his chest. “I didn’t want to be in the way.”

“You’re not” Eddie’s protests were cut off by his own wide-eyed realization. “Does Chimney know?”

Buck nodded. He still hadn’t moved, was still scared to break this moment of just the two of them. “You said a lot of things on that road. We both did. I think he put it together.” He’d tell him all about their conversation later. Because he could tell him that later. Because Eddie was okay.

“What did he say?”

“That he won’t tell anyone until we’re ready.” Here goes nothing. “And that I need to show you how I feel.”

He knew Eddie was still breathing by the beeping of the monitor but both of them caught the slight increase in its rhythm. “How are you gonna do that?”

“Don’t know yet.” And wasn’t that the truth. Then Buck realized the weight that had been sitting on his chest – the one that pressed and eased with his fear and worry – was gone. He smiled. “But I’ll have plenty of time to think about it while you’re lying in this bed. Not dying.”

Eddie returned his smile, his head falling back onto the pillow. “Not dying is a definite step up from the alternative.”

Buck watched his partner, the steady – now regular – beat of his heart, the rise and fall of his chest. Ignoring the recovery that was definitely ahead of him, he was okay. And he wasn’t backing down from the promises they’d made. Buck had what he needed to get through the next few hours until they could talk again. He tapped the doorframe, unable to contain the bit of happiness that dared to leak out; a decision _finally_ made. “I’m gonna tell the others, and the doctor, that you’re awake.”

“I hope you meant it.” Once again, Eddie’s words stopped him in his tracks. But this time, it wasn’t fear or worry. It was just contentment. He looked at his partner, their eyes meeting with a sense of anticipation for what would come next.

“I’m really glad you’re okay.” And then he added with a shy smile: “Hawaiian sounds like a great idea.”

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and Comments are always appreciated. I also might have a followup planned already so...look for that at some point.
> 
> Check out my tumblr [madamewriterofwrongs](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/madamewriterofwrongs/blog/madamewriterofwrongs)


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